How To Properly Spend Your Time While Waiting For Your Meal In A Restaurant

So while driving to New Orleans yesterday, I saw this sign.

My first impulse was to run into the building, yell “Congratulations!” Elf-style, and depart.  However, we’d been on the road for six hours and I was under strict instructions not to reenact any movie scene at a restaurant that would prevent us from eating at said restaurant.

When we (calmly, with no Will Ferrell antics) walked inside, I immediately noticed that every available wall surface had been covered with laminated quotes about life, death, marriage, children, jobs, etc.  You name it, and Wintzell’s Oyster House had something to say about it.

Naturally, I found some that were related to money, and pennies in particular.  I snapped a few pictures, and figured I’d post them here today.

Then I read The Bloggess’ newest entry, about unfinished quotes by anonymous writers.  As is usually the case after reading anything by The Bloggess, my plan took a sharp left turn down the path of whimsy and creepy trees.

Thus, we arrived here- the part where I present:

Personality Profiles of Fictional People in Penny-Related Quotes

1) 

This is good advice, spoken by a regretful Canadian accountant.  You have to keep a close eye on those pennies.  Otherwise, they might run right out in front of Congress and get themselves abolished.  Just look at what happened when Canada got all lassiez-faire about raising their pennies to a higher standard.  Such a shame.  People- do your part.  Don’t let a good penny go to waste.  It’s 10 o-clock.  Do you know where your change is?

2) 

Truer words have never been spoken by a pensioner living on a fixed income.  This man is over 65, has finally paid off his house and car, and uses his Social Security check to buy groceries for himself and cat food for his wife’s 17 cats.  The wife left him for a cabana boy three years ago, but the man just can’t bring himself to get rid of the cats.  Especially not since he began training them as attack ninjas who activate at the sight of that back-stabbing two-timing nag of a demon woman.  Yes, the cats have proven very useful indeed.

3) 

This is a classic case of OCD.  The inability to see the forest for all the damned trees that won’t get themselves into a reasonable tallest-to-smallest order by species even though you’ve asked politely at least a dozen times.

Oh wait, that says gowned foolish, doesn’t it?  Hmm.  This presents two possible explanations, then.

a) The poor girl has sensory issues, and fabric texture goes a long way towards making each day bearable.  Thus, she spends all her money on luxurious silk dresses, the kind that do not have a tag sewn in anywhere.  Her spouse does not understand this, and just thinks her delightfully quirky if slightly fiscally irresponsible.  He doesn’t mind the silk neckties that she makes him out of the old dresses, however.

b) She’s a Kardashian.

(Note- these two aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive.)

4) 

There’s nothing like a sign in an Alabama restaurant that takes a dig at its clientele.  No, that’s not a commentary on the general intelligence of Alabama-dwellers.  It’s just that I’m pretty sure this guy was sitting three booths away from us at the restaurant.  He’s the good-ole-boy type with a heart of gold and a head full of rocks.  And now a gut full of small change.  He’ll go home tonight, announce to his wife that he’s planning to make a change, and request transportation to the hospital.  He’ll repeat the story to the pastor at church on Sunday, and again back at the bar on Wednesday night.  The waitress will sigh, and tell Ol’ Billy that she’d sure like to see some change in him, same as she does every week.  Ol’ Billy will get to thinking on that over his third YuengLing, and it’ll all start again.  Ah, the vicious cycle of poverty.

It’s such a privilege when I can put that Psychology degree to work.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to finish this…

If I ever end up on Death Row, remind me that this ought to be my last meal. It’s that good.

Letting Go

A strange thing has happened to me.  I realized late last night (or extremely early this morning, to be perfectly correct) that for once in my life, I’m not worried about the future of my employment.

The funny thing is, this is probably a time when I should be most worried about the future of my employment.  I’ve got one job with a contract set to expire soon with no definite word on what will happen next, another job where I’m always just one “I forgot to close the safe last night” mistake away from fired, a third that is also time-limited because the kids insist on continuing to grow up, and a fourth that pays almost literally nothing but brings me a lot of happiness.

Basically, I’ve got one job out of five that promises a steady paycheck indefinitely as long as I don’t majorly screw anything up.  Yet I’m not worried.  And no, I’m not on medication, nor should I be.  (Odd how that mental health pendulum swings both ways, isn’t it?)

I wish I could tell you that I had this great epiphany, or that I got a great piece of advice, or I won the lottery, but honestly, I don’t know what changed.  It just finally clicked that maybe it’s not such a big deal after all, and that I’d be a lot better off not worrying about how things will turn out.

I do have an emergency fund in place that will cover two full months’ of expenses if I were to lose all sources of income at once.  It used to have enough to cover three months, but this year has had some unexpected financial situations (human illnesses, pet illnesses, computer illnesses, I-can’t-properly-balance-my-checkbook illnesses, etc).  It will last longer if I only lose one job, and am able to pick up some of the slack with more hours at another job.  It’s a valuable safety net, and I think that it has a lot to do with my new-found piece of mind.

Note- If you don’t have an emergency fund in place, you really need to get on that.  I’ve had one for three years, and have only needed to live off it once.  I emptied the account out just trying to pay all the unexpected bills over three months following a car accident, but simply knowing that the money was there during that time far exceeded the actual balance of the account.  I’m still trying to rebuild the account up to the recommended full six months of expenses, but that’s going to take a while.  For now, it’s enough to know that I wouldn’t drown in bills immediately.

I don’t have any idea what my employment status will be come the beginning of July.  I’m hoping that it all stays the same, but I may have five jobs, I may have three, or I may even have none.  For right now though, worrying about their life expectancies only makes it harder to focus on the tasks at hand.  If I spend too much time worrying, my performance will slip, and then my concern over losing a job will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So I’m focusing on the tasks at hand right now, not the ones in the future.  I’ve got quite a bit of data to organize today, a couple of kids to remember to pick up from summer camp tomorrow, two freelance articles to write by the end of the week, four lessons to plan by the end of the month, and a script or two to edit at some point in the near future.

I’ve also got to find inspiration for Thursday’s Penny Story blog.

Oh, and I have to remember to pack.  I’m going to New Orleans this week.  Hello Vacation Fund?  I’d like to make a withdrawal please.  Gumbo, bookstores and the French Quarter await!

Counter-Pressure

Not sure if the message here is “be ridiculously happy in everything you do,” or “take joy in smacking others around,” but in any case- I want to be the ball on the far right.

I’m a big fan of Newton’s Third Law of Motion.  It’s the one that states that for every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction.  Newton used it to describe motion and kinetic transfer, but I think he may have missed the broader applications of his law.  Sometimes I feel like it should be called Newton’s Third Law of Life, and I think anyone who has ever felt the universe pushing back on them can agree with that statement.

This month, I finally hit my ideal monthly student loan payment of $1,334.  I was so happy, you guys.  It took me six months and a lot of recalculations to do it, but I had finally hit my goal.  It was the largest single payment I’ve ever made on my loans, and I’m telling you- it felt awesome to click YES on that “are you sure this is the right amount?” prompt the loan website flashes before allowing me to submit a payment.

Two days after that payment posted to my bank account, my computer crashed hard.  I talked about this on Friday, as I tried to write a coherent blog post via my phone.  (It turns out, that’s really hard to do.)  When I finally got my computer back, the total was $85 and a grim warning that my hard drive might be in the beginning stages of systematic failure.

*sigh*

It was all right, though.  I have an external hard drive and I back everything up regularly anyway.  I have an emergency fund, and it had $85 in it to cover the repair.  I am out the  roughly $210 paycheck from Thursday and Friday, but I’ll figure out how that affects the budget next month when the check comes in.

What is not all right is that the next day, another unexpected financial cost came up.  I twisted my knee at work while helping a customer search the bottom rack of Wii games for a copy of Mario Power Tennis (and no, the irony of a knee injury while searching for a tennis game is not lost on me.  Neither are the Skyrim-related jokes, such as “I used to be a video game sales person, but then I took a Wii game to the knee.”  Ha.   Ha.   Ha.)

It’s two days later now, and my knee is still a painful mass of useless flesh.  It’s not swollen, but it hurts every time I move it, hurts even more every time I move it in any direction except for straight ahead, and my ankle and foot are in a constant pins-and-needles state.  This makes me think I’ve got a pinched nerve in my knee.

That kind of injury isn’t cheap, people.  I’ve got an appointment with a orthopedist tomorrow, which means specialist rates, and I’m not entirely sure this doc is in my insurance network.  (There’s so much wrong with the US health insurance system, but that’s another post.)  Besides the cost of the doctor, I’m not sure what it will mean for my ability to work.  Two of my jobs allow me to sit at a desk or on a couch, but the other three require a fair amount of physical activity.  I’m already down $210, which is just shy of 10% of my monthly budget.  Missing more days of work means losing a bigger cut.

But there is good news.  As a Newton’s Cradle (i.e.- the thing in the picture above) will demonstrate, the equal action-reaction concept swings both ways (pun totally intended, by the way.)  Just as the universe seems to be pushing against me right now, I can push back.  I’ve got two freelance writing tasks on my plate right now, and I have the rest of the week to try to make up some hours at the consulting job.  Since I’m plainly not going frolicking through the flowers anytime soon, I should have plenty of time to spend typing away at the keyboard in the next few days.

Provided my hard drive doesn’t fail again.

Please, hard drive, don’t fail me now.

How My Financial Reputation Might Be Better Than My Social Reputation

Wouldn’t it be great if people came with a friendship score?  One that told you how likely they were to return your phone calls, keep your secrets, and just generally not be creepy?  What would be even better is if such scores came from three independent sources- so that you could get a really clear picture of someone’s value.

No, wait, I got that wrong.  That wouldn’t be great.  It would be, oh what’s that word?

Oh yeah- terrible.  It would be terrible.  I’d have a score of about 30.  Out of 800.  (I’m horrible about returning phone calls.  PS- sorry Malerie).

The good news is, we don’t judge people’s value based on their friendship scores.  The bad news is, banks and potential employers do judge our value based on our credit scores.  That’s why it’s always a really good idea to know your scores.  (That’s right- today’s post is a commentary on credit scores.  You’ve been warned).

I’ve been signed up with CreditKarma for about four months now.  I saw the ad on TV, thought to myself “there’s no way that’s really free,” and set out to prove the TV wrong.  It turns out the TV was right, to an extent.

CreditKarma.com tracks all your credit accounts- your credit cards, your mortgage, your car loan, your student loan, etc.  It then uses a version of the credit score algorithm to compute your potential credit score.  Since the site operates independently of the three credit bureaus, the score is not guaranteed.  However, the site does help you get a good idea of where you generally are, credit-wise, and it really is free.  No credit card required for sign-up, and no paywalls.

When I signed up in February, my credit score was 732.  I had one credit card with a $0 balance, two student loans with a combined balance around $70k, no late or missed payments, and a delinquency notice for $53.

That delinquency notice concerned me.  I ordered my credit report through the site, which you can do for free once a year (just like you can order the reports through the bureaus themselves for free once a year).  When my TransUnion report came, I saw that I owed $53 to a Dr. B- for services rendered in Summer 2008.

This was a problem, as I’ve never seen a Dr. B-, and wasn’t even in Georgia during the Summer of 2008 (I was in North Carolina, letting children play on a huge aquatic airbag and teaching them to swim faster than a snapping turtle).  I called TransUnion, listened to their oh-so-fascinating hold music (Pachelbel’s Cannon? Really TransUnion?), and finally registered a formal complaint about that deliquency notice.  I assured the woman on the other end of the call that I a) was me, b) hadn’t seen a Dr. B- during the Summer of 2008, and c) did not, in fact, wish to send him $53.  The woman told me that TransUnion would “open an investigation into the matter, and mail the results in 6-12 weeks.”

6-12 weeks.  Great- my credit score investigation had the same delivery window as a late-night infomercial purchase (Oh my god- it’s a pillow AND a tea-strainer! I so need that!).

A mere two weeks later, a very official looking envelope arrived in the mail, addressed to me, with no return address.  As the local court system sends the same envelopes out with jury duty summons, I looked at it the same way a Hogwarts student would look at a red envelope (Actually, if the court system would send out Howlers via owl post, I would probably be a lot more excited to get a jury summons).

I carefully opened the envelope, ready to drop it on the ground and run away if it combusted (a legitimate concern in the HP universe), and took out the single sheet of paper.

It read, in its entirety:

Dear Ms. Anderson (They really called me Ms.  *sigh*)

     This is to inform you of the results of a recent investigation into your credit report.  The results are below.

Sincerely,

[name redacted]

TransUnion Investigative Services

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Disputed entry- deleted.

Gee, thanks TransUnion for making that crystal clear for me.  Succinct is always better when dealing with sensitive financial information.  No one wants to read on and on about how a stranger USED THEIR NAME TO HAVE A WART REMOVED or anything (I have no idea if Dr. B- actually is a dermatologist. I just like to imagine that he/she is).

Because, you know, shingles isn’t painful enough.

In any case, the mysterious charge was deleted, and my credit score jumped to 755 in March.  It stayed there for April too, despite the fact that my student loan balance decreased by over $2k over those two months.

This month, my score is 763.  Want to guess why it changed?

I’ll give you a hint- it wasn’t because they finally updated my student loan balance.  It was because I opened a new credit card account.  That’s right- my credit score went up 8 points because I signed up for a new credit card.

*Sigh*  Credit scores are ridiculous.  Credit card companies are even more ridiculous:

• I’m 25, and someone just handed me a credit card worth $10,000.  That’s 10x the limit on my bank-issued card.
• Because of this, I am now more eligible for other credit cards with even higher limits.
• This is what’s wrong with our country’s economy.

While I appreciate the card issuer’s faith in my financial status, I can assure them that I won’t be approaching my limit any time soon.  (Unless ThinkGeek.com has a fire sale, and then all bets are off).

So while my new credit card sits safely locked up, with its initial balance already paid off, and no intended uses until at least October, I’m going to enjoy my 763 credit score.  I’m also going to put a freeze on my credit to make sure no more surprise charges appear.  In Georgia, this costs $3 per bureau.  $9 isn’t much to pay for peace of mind.

Oh yeah, I’m also going to update you all on my student loan pay-off progress.

$8,825.82 (End of April balance)

+ $48.64 (May interest)

– $1,329 (May payment- just $5 off the ideal! So close, and yet so far).

————–

$7,545.46 (End of May balance)

My goal for May was to be under $7,800.  I made it by $254.54.  Since I’ve already drawn up the budget for June, and it looks like I’m going to be able to pay the full $1,334 (YAY! but more on that later), I’m going to set my end-of-June goal at $6,300.

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Ok, I’m off to dye some clothes black in washtubs on the back deck.  Not to sign off on a cryptic note or anything.

Chasing The Dream

Do you know what question I really hate?

“What do you want to do with your degree/career path/ life?”

I mean, this question was so easy when I was 5.  I wanted to marry Tigger, but I would have settled for Peter Pan.  I could have spent my days bouncing around the Hundred Acre Wood or flying over Neverland, taunting Rabbit or teasing pirates.  I could hunt heffalumps or indians, and look for a lost tail or a missing fairy.  I already had brothers, so it wouldn’t have been hard to adjust to the mostly-male cast of either world.  I had a plan, I tell you.  It was going to be perfect.

Sadly, I think I have to admit that my life probably not going to work out like that.  Apparently there is an age limit on both worlds, and I think I’m closing in on it.  Even more sadly, there is not an age limit on people asking me what I want to do with my life.

You see, I’ve made some choices in my life that would seem to indicate that I had a goal in mind when I made those choices.  I went to college, got a degree, I went to grad school, I got another degree.  For the normal person, this implies that there is a set career path in mind.

I am not a normal person.

I think the most important thing that I learned in graduate school was what I did NOT want to do.  I realized that I did not want to work as a lobbyist, a political consultant, a policy-maker, or really in anything to do with governmental politics.  I also realized that while I’m pretty darn good at biostatistics, SAS (the statistical analysis program favored by pretty much everyone, for some unknown ungodly reason) and I do not get along.  At all.  (You can ask the three school computers I accidently took out of commission for verification on this.)  Unfortunately, those were the two main things my degree focused on.

Now I have a Master’s degree that I’m probably never going to use to its full capacity.  I’m actually OK with this.  The problem is that most people don’t understand that.  There is a stigma attached to not using a degree- like the owner has failed to properly pursue their dreams.  For some, it’s out of laziness, for others it’s because of the job market.  For me, it’s because my dreams took a hard left turn somewhere between first and second year.  In any case, it’s not an easy concept to explain to people.

I’m going to try to explain this concept to people now.

I took an economics class my first semester in graduate school.  It was on Wednesday evenings, from 4-7 pm.  That’s dinner time for most people.  It was torture for the 30 or so of us trapped in that room each week.  I’m just saying- when you start trying to figure out the social cost vs the nutritional benefit of cannibalism, it’s time to get out of class.  Now, I had a wonderful professor.  She was kind, cared about her students, and tried to make the material interesting to us.  That’s a huge thing in a graduate school professor.  It wasn’t her fault that economics is the most boring subject in the entire world forever and ever and for always.

Naturally, my brain couldn’t handle this kind of self-imposed confinement for long.  Just before midterms, my mind finally snapped.  Out of the blue during lecture, a short exchange popped into my head: “And just who are the Nocturnes?”  “They’re us, obviously.”

That was the beginning of the end.  In about a month, I had written a 65,000 word novel, mostly in three-hour weekly increments.  My notebook pages were dotted with economic formulas and bits of notes that I’d jotted down when my attention wandered back to the actual class lectures, but mostly it was full of the story of a girl who sends herself away to boarding school only to find out her classmates are not exactly totally human.

I know, original idea, right?

That’s not the point here.  The point is I did what I had always wanted to do- I wrote a novel.  It was a terribly written novel, and editing so far hasn’t made it much better, but it was mine and it was complete.  I was so ridiculously proud of that thing, and honestly, I still am.  Even though it’s terrible.

Two years later, around the same time, I wrote another novel.  This one turned out much better, mainly because of all that I had learned about how not to write a novel from the first one.  The second novel is called Northgate, and I’m even more proud of it, even though it’s technically incomplete (I prefer to think of it as leaving the ending to the reader’s imagination…).

That’s not exactly the point here either.  The real point is that it took me a very long time to realize what it was that I wanted to do with my life.  This may be because it’s not a very well-accepted career move, or because I was afraid that people would belittle my dream, or most likely- that I would totally and completely fail at it.

But I remembered something that I had forgotten in the two decades since I was 5: dreams don’t have to be practical.  That’s what makes them dreams.

I also realized that now is the perfect time to really chase down my dreams- because it’s not like I have a full-time job or anything.  I actually have very few responsibilities in my life right now.  So, *deep breath,* I’m going to start giving the true answer to people when they ask me The Question.

Go ahead, ask me.  You know you want to.

You: “K, what do you want to do with your degree/ career path/ life?”

Me: “I want to be a writer.  But more than that, I want to be a creator.  I want to make things that make people feel things- books, blogs, pictures, videos, etc. (and yes, I will say etc.  Just like that: E.T.C.)  I don’t care if people remember my name, but I want them to remember the things I made.”

You: “Wow, that’s a really good answer.”

Me: “I know, it took me several years to come up with it, and a few hours to memorize the proper inflections for it when spoken.”

You:  “It was time well spent, I’d say.”

Me: “Yep. Far more useful than that second economics class.  By the way, you’re going to save $7 if you buy that game pre-owned since you have a membership card.  It’s a better economic decision… DARN IT!  The curriculum seeped into my brain anyway!”

You: “Um, ok.  Nice talking with you.” *You scurry away at this point*

This is exactly how the conversation is going to go down.  Those of you unfortunate enough to interact with me in real-life know I’m telling the truth.  I’m sorry, but it is what it is.  And you know what? People may not remember my name, but they do remember that strange redheaded girl who works at the video game store and has that eloquently-phrased dream, and that’s what it’s all about in the end.

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Right?

The underlying message here: you may grow out of a dream, but your dreams should always outgrow you.

Inching Closer

Translation: not all those who wander are lost.

This quote has been buzzing around my brain for the last few weeks.  It’s a fairly well-known quote, and it originates from the Lord of the Rings series by J.R.R. Tolkien, specifically from a poem known as Strider’s Riddle.  (Yes, I know the quote is in Elvish.  I provided you a translation.  I’m a nerd.  You should have realized that by now.)  I like this line because it reminds me that even though the path ahead of me is not always clear, as long as I’m moving forward, I’m still making progress.  It’s a hopeful line, and if I were to ever get a tattoo, this would probably be it.  On my ankle, to remind me to keep taking that next step, even if the path is dark.  (If my mom is reading this, there are no immediate plans for a tattoo, as my understanding is that they are still done with needles.)

The interesting part is that this is actually the second line of the poem.  The first line reads, “all that is gold does not glitter.”  That’s a powerful line when you think about it.  The converse of the line, “all that glitters is not gold,” is a popular saying that cautions us to not be fooled by false value.  It’s a good lesson, especially in today’s economy.

But Tolkien chose to say the line backwards- “all that is gold does not glitter.”   Suddenly, rather than telling us to not overestimate something’s worth because of its shininess, Tolkien is cautioning us to not underestimate the value of something plain-looking.  To me, that’s an altogether more important lesson in today’s economy.

We (by which I really mean I) can easily get caught up in the glitter of things.  We want the newest iPad, the nicest car, the clearest television, and the most fashionable clothes.  But unless there’s something more to the want, those things can’t bring happiness.  A brand-new computer may come with an impressive logo, but if it was purchased just so everyone else in the coffeehouse would envy it, it’s not going to make you happy.  It may glitter, but it’s not gold.

On the other hand, if you have a dream to write the next great American novel, a plain but functional laptop can be just what you need (and can afford, if you’re a writer).  The other coffeehouse patrons won’t be impressed by it, but you’ll be doing what makes you happy.  It may not glitter, but it’s still gold.

This is the point I’m trying to hold on to- that the purpose of something matters far more than its appearance.  My car might be 5 years old and have a few scratches, but its purpose is to get me (and my passengers) to and from places safely.  My computer might not have the best graphics card for playing video games, but its purpose is to let me express myself (and earn money.  Self-expression comes after 5 pm).  

I do have nice things: I have a nice TV, a nice cell phone (in a nice protective case, because I tend to drop it.  A lot), more books than I can count, and every few months a nice new pair of shoes.  I appreciate all of these things because 1) I saved and purchased them all myself, and 2) they all have a deeper purpose than just being nice things.  They help keep me connected, learning, and/or properly clothed.

So starting today, I’m going to look for the deeper purposes of things before I decide on their value.  In terms of my financial goal this year, that means taking a closer look at the things I spend money on to be sure they’re worth it.  I’ve talked about it before, but my anxiety disorder makes it hard for me to enjoy social activities.  I’m working on it though, and I’ve found two regular events that do make me happy- bowling with coworkers, and art club.  I’m pretty terrible at both, but so far no one has asked me to leave because I’m dragging down the average skill level.  I also went to an outdoor play (Shakespeare’s The Tempest with a steampunk theme) on Saturday night with some friends, and it was a lot of fun.  I’m not looking to become a social butterfly, but not internally wincing every time I have to spend time among people in the real world is a good start.

I’m also going to try to remember to keep moving forward.  Financially, that means not dwelling on the months when I haven’t hit my ideal student loan payment (which so far has been every month).  Last month I fell $16 short of my ideal payment of $1334.  This month, I’m going to be $5 short.  Sometimes every dollar left feels like a million, and every inch like a mile, but I’m still moving forward.  Inch by inch, that mountain of debt is shrinking.

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What quote(s) inspire you to keep trying to live better?  Are they messages of hope, or love, or fearlessness, or something else?  Leave me a comment and let me know.

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And because I know you were all dying to see the first line written in Elvish script:

“All that is gold does not glitter.” An excellent tool to keep in mind when evaluating people. The converse is useful when evaluating sparkly vampires.

Penny-Sized Penny Stories (And A Commentary on A Facebook Comment)

The best theme for today’s Penny Story is “miscellaneous.”   Rather than a cohesive (or as usually the case for me, a mostly cohesive) blog post, I’ve got several small money-related stories.  Penny penny stories, if you will.

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1. Art Club

At art club last night (Yes, I am in an art club.  No, this does not mean I can draw. I live in fear that the club will discover this and kick me out), I asked if anyone had a cool story about a penny.  I got this one:

“When my sister and I were kids, she told me that if we put pennies under our pillows, they’d multiply.  Being young, I believed her.  I would count out some pennies, put them under my pillow, say the magic words with her, and then recount the pennies.  There would always be more pennies afterwards than there were before.  This might have been because I was too young to count properly, or because my sister was sneaking extra pennies into the pile, but it was still pretty cool to me.”

You’ve got to love older sisters and their tales of magic.  I’m pretty sure I terrorized both of my younger sisters with fake magical powers when we were younger.  For some reason, they both still like me.  Go figure.

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2. Art Club Part II

Also at art club last night, someone else mentioned that they knew a person who would sweep up pennies on the floor and then throw them away.  Yes, you read that right- they would THROW AWAY THE PENNIES.  Like they were made of dust rather than precious copper and zinc.  I’m proud to say all the club members paused at that statement.  These people get it- pennies matter.

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3. The Best Facebook Response By A Student Loan Company

Let me start by saying that I do enjoy working with my undergrad student loan company.  They are polite, helpful and supportive every time that I call.  This might be because I’m actually sending them money each month rather than just calling to complain, but that’s beside the point.  The point is, I got an email from them the other day, telling me that if I liked their page on Facebook, I could be entered to win either an iPad or a Macbook.  I already have an iPad and I don’t really care for Macs (chill out hipsters- Macs don’t care for me either.  Long story), but I figured it was worth it to see what kind of stuff the company had on their FB page.

It turns out they answer questions and respond to every comment on their FB page, usually within minutes.  That’s pretty impressive, and shows that the company is living up to their claim that they’re open 24/7.  So, not being one to miss an opportunity to plug my own blog, I posted a comment.  This is what happened.

There’s so much brilliance here, I can’t even handle it.

I wasn’t completely sucking up.  Like I said earlier, Nelnet is much nicer than my graduate student loan company.  That’s mainly because my grad student loan company can’t be bothered to answer their phone or check their fax machine.  Once I finally do reach a human, they’ve been invariably polite and helpful.  It’s just a lot of work to get to that point.

But let’s refocus on this reply, particularly the “we wish we could keep you forever!” line.  They wish they could keep me forever?!  What is that supposed to mean?  The way I see it, there are two options:

1. “We wish we could keep you forever!” = “We love having you send us money each month! Thanks for being a great customer!”
2. “We wish we could keep you forever!” = “Legally, we can’t keep charging you interest forever, but boy do we wish we could!”

One is nice and polite, the other is a bit more sinister.  I’m not sure which I’d prefer: a company that sucks up to me as much as I suck up to them, or a company that never misses an opportunity for truth in advertising.  When I saw that line, I figured that either Adam here is a master of double-meanings, or he read Monday’s entry about why I overthink everything and thought it would be funny to mess with me.  Either way, well played Adam.  Well played.

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That one line by itself would have been good enough, but Adam chose to follow it up with “let us know if there is anything we can help you with.”  At this point, I realized that he probably didn’t click the link and read my blog.  I think I’ve made it pretty clear here exactly with what I could use help.  In case I haven’t, allow me to make a short list:

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1. A full-time job, preferably one with a yearly salary well into the 5 digits.
2. A check (or two, or three.  I’m not picky) for $8,851.13, made out to either me or the loan company, and preferably drawn on a real bank account.
3. For people to see that paying off debt doesn’t have to be such a scary thing- and that sometimes doing it publicly can be a lot of fun.

In Adam’s defense, he’s got a lot on his plate: FB comments to moderate, clever double-entrees to craft, and since he’s likely a social media intern, probably his own student loans to worry about.  He can’t be bothered to click on every link that someone posts on the FB page that he’s been assigned to monitor.  But his response to my post, whether intentionally clever or not, made my day and provided the inspiration for this entry.  So, really, a double win.

Not a bad start to a Thursday.

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As always, if you have a story involving a penny, a person named penny, a phrase using the word penny, or just a cool story that you can tell in under 500 words (unless you’re me, and take over 1,000 words to get to the point), drop me a line and let me know.   Comments are below, and the email address is on the About Me page.  Or the About The Blog page.  Or the About Penny Stories page.  I can’t remember.  Sorry.

My Brain and I

Have you ever had that feeling, like there’s some major ephineny brewing in the back of your mind?  It’s like there’s this cloud of understanding just behind your eyes, biding its time.  I don’t know if it was last weekend’s Supermoon, the reactions to Thursday’s “Why You Can’t Pay For Me,” something that I’m reading, the fact that I’m writing on my book again, or the intuition that I seem to have inherited from my mother (and which terrifies me when it’s right), but I’ve been feeling like this for several days now.

And it’s really starting to bug me, you know?

I mean, my brain and I have been at odds with each other since I was 8, and it suddenly decided that the world needed to be counted and alphabetized.  We’ve reached an uneasy truce in the last two years, in which I will not feed my body wheat and my brain will not keep me awake at night, but sometimes that peace doesn’t hold.

OCD is like my own personal alarm system- alerting me to something stressful in my life that I need to deal with.  It’s hard to miss when you realize you know exactly how many letters and words (and punctuation marks and spaces) are on a page, but you have no idea what any of it actually said.  The inability to sleep or sit still are pretty good hints too.  When I start wondering if I have any Xanax left, I know things are bad.

For the record, I don’t take medication for my OCD.  I have tried it.  I took Lexapro, an anti-anxiety drug, for four years in college.  It did absolutely nothing.  Xanax didn’t work either- it just put me into a restless sleep for a few hours at a time.  I still counted, I still did the same things over and over, and I still don’t quite know how I made it to graduation.  I learned how to cope, and even how to tell my brain to stop to a certain extent, but I never really got it all to shut off.  It was only after I went gluten-free in grad school that I saw a major difference.  I felt better, so I slept better, so I had far less exhaustion-related anxiety.  I could tell my brain to stop, and it’d actually listen.  I felt in control of my own brain for the first time, and it was wonderful.

Now when I feel the anxiety creeping back in, and I find myself counting or alphabetizing the words on a page, it terrifies me.  I’m afraid of slipping back into that world of uncertainty, scared that I won’t be able to find my way back out of it.  I hated being on medication- having to make sure I had my pills with me if I was traveling, having to report it to judgmental doctors at the college clinic, having to sit in the therapist’s waiting room for a refill and feeling the eyes of others on me as they tried to figure out what was wrong with me, and having roommates that would ask me if I’d taken my meds every time I did something out of the ordinary.  I’d try to laugh it all off, but I hated every minute of every day, knowing that all that stood between me and a full-fledged panic attack was a tiny blue pill.

Oh, and it didn’t stop the panic attacks either.  I still had those, in the form of night terrors.  I’d wake up, panicked and unsure of my surroundings, paralyzed with an unknown fear, unable to catch my breath or reach my bottle of pills.  I’d be afraid to fall asleep for nights afterward, which only made my anxiety worse.

I work hard every day to keep myself from sliding back into that dark world of anxiety and irrational fear.  I keep busy so my brain never has idle time to think up new concerns.  I’ve learned how to cope with sudden changes, and how to be more proactive.  I keep up on the latest theories and treatments of OCD, and I read every single ingredient label on everything I eat.  It all keeps my OCD in check, and I don’t need to remember to take a pill every day to do it.  Every day that I go without melting down or feeling like I’m losing control is a victory, and some days it’s a hard-fought victory.

You’re probably wondering why I’m revealing all of this on so public of a forum.  After all, most of this is stuff I’ve never told to anyone else.  But a good friend, after reading Thursday’s blog post, asked me if maybe I should consider friendships as a type of job.  They take just as much regular time and effort, and the payout is being surrounded by people who care about you.  It was a very interesting thought, and it came right on the heels of another interesting conversation.

Two of my friends on Twitter and I had just discussed social anxiety and how the internet can provide a safe place to learn how to make friends (note- I said “can,” not “does.”  The Internet isn’t all sunshine and dandelions, I know this).  One Twitter friend was shocked to find out that another Twitter friend and I both struggled with real life interactions, but had grown more comfortable with real people since joining Twitter or other social network sites.  The truth is, I’ve always felt more at home on the internet, like I’m more accepted here than in real life.  It might seem backwards, and probably has a lot to do with being a part of Generation Y, but there it is.  Internet: you’re my kind of people.

So there you have it.  The story of my war with my brain, all laid out in a nice even number of words (WordPress provides that- I swear).  I hope this helps you understand a little bit more about me, why I don’t mind working five jobs, why I have to force myself to make friends with corporeal people, why I over think everything, why I don’t eat anything with gluten, and why my monthly budget is an Excel spreadsheet with seven tabs and five color-coded and cross-referenced data tables.  (Don’t believe me?  Behold.)

OCD- you can’t make this kind of crazy up.

The green is my ideal budget, where everything is paid according to my maximum monthly income.  The red is my monthly budget prioritized in order of importance, the yellow is my income tracking, the purple is a copy of the red, the orange is which account each amount goes into, and the gray is my savings ledger.  I have copies of monthly budgets back to January, a tab for proposed budgets as my income (hopefully, eventually) grows, and a tab for contingencies (ie- huge financial events, emergency funds, etc).  This document is where my OCD gets free reign.  I’d probably have more color-coded tables, but the MS Excel color palette is a bit lacking.  In any case, you get the point (and a free look at my finances).  Sometimes, you have to find ways to let the crazy out so the pressure doesn’t make you explode.

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Huh, turns out there was an epiphany in there after all.

Why You Can’t Pay For Me

I’ve been blessed to have a lot of friends in my life who are willing to pay for things for me.  They’ll cover the cost of a round of bowling, they’ll buy me a smoothie at a coffee shop (that’s not being cheap- I’m allergic to caffeine), some of them will even buy me a ticket to the aquarium (but only if I’m sick and they need me to drive them).  They do these things because we’re friends, and they know that I’ve done/ will do the same things for them.  It’s a give-and-take, and I love that about my friends.

It also drives me up the freakin’ wall.

I don’t like people paying for things for me.  It’s not out of a sense of a “oh-you-shouldn’t-have” politeness, or feeling like I then “owe” someone something, (since I don’t keep track of dollar amounts to make sure it all comes out fair and no one is going to argue that I’m a proper Southern belle).  Instead, it’s more that I feel robbed when someone pays for me.

Let me explain this a bit better.

I work hard for my money.  As in, spending seven days a week, on my feet, sometimes at multiple jobs in a day, work hard for my money.  I’m proud of my paychecks, even when they’re smaller than I would like, because I know that I have earned them.  I have helped someone find a video game, cared for a child, pulled multiple sources of data into a single report, or created something new.  I have dealt with nice people, with worried people, with angry people, and with outright mean people.  I have sweated, cried, and bled over each job. (Literally on all three, actually. But that’s another story).  Each time I get to type a paycheck amount into a line on my budget and see that balance rise, I feel proud of myself.

I also work hard for my budget.  I know, down to the last dollar, where my money is going each month.  I don’t miss bill payment due dates, I don’t overdraft my account, and I’m getting better about not stealing money from other budget line items (using gas money to buy a DVD is totally fine when said DVD is from the gas station convenience store… right?).  Being a good steward of my money is important to me, and on the rare occasions that I succeed, I get to feel proud of myself again.

I do set aside money each month to pay for fun things, like bowling and smoothies, but when that’s gone, it’s gone.  If I want something else, I pick up a few extra babysitting jobs to afford it.  When I am able to purchase something that I’ve worked to earn, whether it’s a new book, new phone, new clothes, or even a vacation, it’s a victory.  I get to feel proud of myself for  third time.  I’ve worked and been patient, and now I get to reap the rewards.

This is me every time Maureen Johnson publishes a new book, Tim Burton makes a new movie, or the Backstreet Boys release a new CD. It’s sad, but true.

So when I tell you that I can’t afford to go to the movies because I’ve spent the entertainment part of my budget this month, and you reply with an offer to pay for my ticket, I know that you are trying to be nice because we’re friends.  You are also implying that my company is worth the roughly $55 cost of a movie ticket these days.  Both of these are cool, and I want you to know that I appreciate them both.  Sometimes I will even take you up on these sorts of offers.

But you’re also taking away my chance to feel proud of myself, and I kind of resent that.  I hate feeling like I haven’t earned something, whether it’s a trip to the movies or a grade on a test.  It bothers me, and the feeling will hang around the back of my mind for ages (OCD- the gift that keeps on giving and giving and giving and giving and giving and…).  Keep in mind that if I turn down your offer, it’s likely more for my own sanity than it is anything else.  And feel free to ask again next week or month.  Chances are, I’ll have saved some money and will be able to go.

(Oh, and while we’re on the subject, “oh, it’s just $8.  You can afford that” is not an acceptable response either.  I just said that I can’t afford it.  I’m (probably) not trying to duck your company, and even if I was, implying that you know how much money is in my pocket better than I do is not the way to get me to agree.  Just wanted to throw that out there.)

I get weird looks all the time about my budget.  My peers think it’s insane that I already have such a strict money policy, people older than me think I’m too young to be worrying about such things, and people younger than me get a scared look in their eyes- like they’re worried they may end up like me.  I don’t know if it makes me independent, crazy, frugal, stingy, sensible, cheap, or just plain weird, but I like my budget.  I can’t always control what happens to me, but I can control what I do with what I get.

And the end of the day (and the month), I’m proud of myself.  While I may not have everything that I want, I know that I have earned the things that I have, and I’d rather have that any day. (Unless we’re talking about a giant ball pit.  You can totally buy one of those for me.  I will not object at all.)

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So how about you?  What do you take pride in?  What makes you feel all warm and fuzzy at the end of the day?  Leave a comment and let me know.

Good News Monday

I love Mondays.

Wait, scratch that.  I love *this* Monday.  Most Mondays I feel like this:

That's the same look I have when I wake up one minute before my alarm goes off... and again 2 seconds after the alarm goes off.

Why do I love this Monday, you ask?  Well, it’s because I have lots of good news to share.

First, because of the completely overwhelming reaction to Thursday’s Things Video Game Customers Say, I’ve started a Tumblr to share more of the gems I hear each day at work.  You can follow it at http://videogamecustomers.tumblr.com/.  Go share it with your friends.  Be glad you don’t have my job.

Second, and in a wonderful juxtaposition of timing, I’m getting a raise!  That’s right- I am going to be paid more money for each hour of work, effective May 5th.  This is because the aforementioned video game store thinks that I do a pretty good job. No word yet on exactly how much the raise will be, or if they’ve figured out that I’m the one behind that viral post, but until reality sets in I’m going to enjoy the glow of potentially increased income levels.

Third, I’ve got two new books in my hands.  Well, not at this exact moment, since that would make typing difficult, but they are sitting right next to me right now.  I’ve spent the last two weekends babysitting for various adorable children, and the proceeds have been put to good use.  I picked up Insurgent by Veronica Roth, and City of Lost Souls by Cassandra Clare.  Insurgent was everything I’d hoped it would be, and more.  City of Lost Souls is staring at me, waiting for the work day to end so that we can curl up together.  Both are long-awaited sequels to two excellent dystopian YA series, and my favorite series (serieses? seriesi?) since Harry Potter.

Third part B, some of you out there may be up on book release dates.  Let’s play it cool that I have both books before their official release dates, ok?  (Insurgent comes out tomorrow, and City of Lost Souls releases May 8th.)  My local bookstore doesn’t seem to understand/care about street dates, and I kind of love that about them.  I paid full price for the books, I just did so a bit early…I call it a bonus for being a loyal reader (and preordering both books months ago).

Finally on the financial front, my budget for May looks pretty good.  After a long month of trying to track down late paychecks, everything has arrived safe and sound.  I did very well in April, earning about $2,700 between my five jobs.  (For reference, my January income was just under $2,000.  This is a very nice improvement.)  An increase in hours at several jobs, while super stress-inducing at times, has certainly paid off.  It’s also taught me quite a bit about time management and priorities.  I’m no where near perfect on either of those, and I still have days where I just want to get in my car and drive away from it all, but it is getting better.

So there you have why I love this Monday.  The sun is out, the birds are singing, the woodpecker that is courting my chimney is nowhere to be found, there is money in my pocket, and the city workers with chainsaws have finally finished their work.  All is quiet and calm, for now.

Let’s see how long it lasts.

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If you have good news this Monday, why not share it?  Leave me a comment below and let’s all celebrate together!