It’s funny how many of our phrases about life have to do with transportation- we’re on the right path, at a crossroads, off the rails. We’re in the fast lane, bypassing failure, in a rut. We’re enjoying the ride, flying solo, living on autopilot. And the list just goes on.
Three years ago, I didn’t need a metaphor. I had literally taken an unexpected turn that had left my world somewhat literally upside down and my plans figuratively shattered into slivers. I don’t want to go into the details of the accident here, (if you’re curious, you can read about it in my post What Remains, which also has the open letter I wrote to the Honda Car Company the next day. Warning: there are pictures of the car after the accident in that post) because as each year passes, I try to spend more time looking forward than looking back.
The first anniversary of the accident, I was afraid to drive anywhere. I sat at home and enjoyed the fact that I was alive. The legal aftermath of the accident had been settled just weeks before, and I finally felt free to move on.
The second anniversary, I thought (and posted, see above) about how the accident had changed my life for the worse. I have to take more precautions with my back muscles, I flinch more when someone does something unexpected on the road, and I worry more when someone else is behind the wheel. But dwelling on those things isn’t doing anyone any good, least of all me, so I decided to spend the next year looking forward.
I guess I succeeded, because I totally forgot that it was July 16th today. I spent the day working with new coworkers, replanning my monthly budget to reflect my recent pay raise (YAY!!! But that’s another post), washing the car with a couple of six-year-olds, and filming scenes for a web series. I did the things that make me feel happy and fulfilled, rather than spending my time contemplating the fragility of life and how lucky I am to be sitting here in front of my computer today.
I suppose that’s the ultimate sign that I’m over the accident. It’s never on my mind unless I’m having back pains and have to explain why to someone. I drive past the accident site without cringing now, and some days I don’t even notice it at all. It’s just another intersection, although it is somewhat pleasing to see that the two perfect black circles from the impact of my hubcaps on the road are still there.
So this year, I’m only thinking about the accident for as long as it takes me to finish this post. Then I’m going back to what makes me happy, which tonight is working with an amazing group of actors to make something that is truly funny.
Maybe by next year, I won’t need a post at all.
Losing My Cents 